Because then I could have pretended that the cybersecurity discussion was just a couple of excited pensioners at a neighboring table who had good intentions but not a lot of clue: “my son is good at the computers“; “it’s probably those dastardly Russians!”
It would have fit right into the atmosphere and been almost charming. It would not have been what it actually was: alarming.
The computer genius 10-year-old aside (is he available for an internship? we are hiring!), the reality of security that companies need to care about is neither basement-dwelling thrill hackers nor state actors. This is a false dichotomy that insults and misleads everyone in order to sell expensive security shovelware toolkits that address non-existent issues. Yes, I’m afraid that I have bad news: your Splunk instance is not really going to stop GCHQ.
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